Click here to see the The Zapbots Flash Animaton
(warning Adult language).

The Story so Far…

Back in my younger days, I like many Generation X individuals adored sci-fi TV shows like Transformers, Robocop, Star Trek, etc. Being an artist and in love with computers I started to draw my own characters and write my own stories based on the TV shows. As I went through middle and high school, I created over 161 different characters and 15 stories about my world, which featured the Zapbots, a slight variation on The Transformers, with subtle hints of Star Trek story line. The drawings, art and stories were a way to deal with the problems of growing up in the 80’s and kept me out of trouble.

I did all of this on my trusty Apple IIe, until the “T” key broke and had to by a new computer. I came to college in Columbus Ohio trying to find a way to convert most of my ideas. However, ideas were put on the backburner due to pressure of homework, and the fact that you couldn’t convert anything from an Apple IIe.

As years went by and I told people about my Zapbots, it more or less became an inside joke between friends. As friends would make jests saying I was plagiarizing used ideas, or downright stealing, I tried to defend my ideas as original, and different. Soon stories became more or less a comedy routine, but none of this bothered me because I was making people laugh.

Meanwhile back at the ranch…

The hit show SOUTHPARK debuted and lo and behold I was actually able to start on a trend at the same time as everyone else. I enoyed the colorful show of collage and cheap animation, with intelligent humor, and liberal views. I bought the T-shirts, saw the movie three times, and up to the point of the Oscars 2000, agreed with everything Southpark stood for.

Along the side lines I am a Big Phil Collins…. no wait… GIANT….no no…EXTREME Phil Collins fan. Don’t ask me why, but I got addicted. I have every album, every bootleg, and know him better than he knows him self. I love all the Genesis acts, Mike Rutherford, Tony Banks, Steve Hackett, Peter Gabriel, and I’m big into Progressive Rock with my college friends.

But what I loved most about Phil is that the majority of people thinks he rocks too. At least anyone from Generation X era. Phil is Mr. Nice Guy, he’s never made fun of because he never does or says anything stupid. He’s always stood fast with his values and has been the nicest guy in the world and a perfect example of what a celebrity should be in the music industry.

Anyhow, I’m a big fan, and people who can’t appreciate his music are usually uneducated to begin with or immature. I was thrilled when I heard he was doing music for Disney’s Tarzan.

So what does this have to do with Southpark? Well I figured the Southpark creators (also my heroes at the time) would love Phil as well because they made reference to other great 80’s acts and general 80’s stuff in their show. They would comment on how cool Toto or The Cure was, and made tons of references to Star Trek and Star Wars.

So up to this point I was totally with the creators with their show. Then came the Oscars and Phil Collins beat Matt and Trey for “Best Song” from the Tarzan soundtrack. I was thrilled! The few who had made fun of me for my musical taste could now kiss my butt. Phil my man had won! He had taken the gold!

But then I started to realize… “Crap, Matt and Trey are now going to make fun of him.”

I seriously started to freak, because no one to my knowledge has ever made fun of my hero. While some would say I have a seriously dependency problem I just hate it when people are mean to nice people for no good reason. Sure it’s ok to make fun of Barbara Striestand cause well.. she’s a bitch (it’s a proven fact), but Phil was cool, Phil’s a nice guy. He’s never been made fun of before, at least from what I’ve seen.

I prayed Matt and Trey could accept defeat with some maturity, but they did not. Not more than 4 weeks later they debuted a new show where they totally bastardized Phil. Not only could they not impersonate his voice in any way (which I know they claim impersonations are badly done, but usually they are right on target.) but they totally tried to turn their TV show into a way to rave and rant about how they lost. Instead of taking defeat with dignity , they decided to dedicate a whole episode on how Phil Collins sucks. Even Isaac Hayes helped them with this episode. Needless to say I was aghast.

Can you say I was heartbroken. Here two of my heroes had now turned against another hero of mine, for no good reason other to say “Wahhhh its not fair…” I now had to eat my negative words I said to my Mom when I showed her the Barbara Streisand episode. Karma is a bitch… I promptly took down all my South Park posters, burned my mousepad and threw everything but the stickyfoam book out (that will be worth money someday I hope.)

What was worse is that I couldn’t do anything about this! Beef-cake.com made fun of my remarks in the message board, I couldn’t reach anyone at Comedy Central. All I could do is send a fax saying how disappointed I was in them. I, a simple man trying to make a living doing web design couldn’t reach the amounts of people that two idiots from college, who just happen to get a lucky break, could.

So what does this have to do with your Zapbots?

I first decided to retire my Zapbots. Due to the fact that everyone I presented the idea too laughed and said “That’s been done before.” I tried to explain I wanted to combine the best of all Sci-fi into one show, but to everyone else it was plagiarism. So I was about ready to close the book.

Then… bits of genius stroke. Why not create a parody of Transformers in the same cartoon style as Southpark? Surely sooner of later someone was going to try and dupe the Southpark idea. But why not create a show featuring robots but make fun of the whole genre. In fact the first episode could be attacking those damn South Park kids and proclaiming how cool Phil Collins would be..

Thus this is my attempt my friends. Thanks to miracle of the Flash and the Internet, I now can have my 15 minutes of fame as well and shout out my opinions to those two idiots who ruined their great show. I can make my ideas come alive and take revenge on the people who got too big, too rich and forgot their roots as the average nice guy. This movie is not just a way to go “I know you are but what I am I!”, this is a victory song, for all us Nice Guys out there who have been shunned by modern day America. I mean, don’t you just get tired of all these 15 year old kids getting rich off of ideas they put up on the Internet? While teachers are starving on the streets? How many times do you see success stories of Trey and Matt or anyone else who just happen to be in the right place at the right time and they now are billionaires?

So what did I want to gain from this?

Well besides to annoy a lot of South Park fans off (come on guys, the show is past its prime and the guys have sold out), I want MY OWN TV SHOW based on my idea. And unlike Matt and Trey I’m not going to sell out. Not only do I think my friends and I are more talented and funnier than Matt and Trey, but at least we have good tastes in music and can appreciate quality drumming. (Comedy Central feel free to email me for the job now!)

This is dedicated to Phil, Mike, Tony, Peter and Steve (the original Genesis 5). You guys kept me going through long nights of homework, and when I’ve hit rock bottom in many parts of my life. By the way, I wrote to Phil, Mike and Tony and I still extend an invitation for them to come over to my house for a spaghetti dinner.

Soooo Phil came back around in 2004 for his First Final Farewell Tour…and here is the story of ‘The Night Phil Collins Winked At Me’

Editorial Note: I am leaving out the Cleveland show I went to my Mom with because we sat in the nose bleed sections and couldn’t see anything, but needless to say both shows where fantastic!

My friends and I arrived early to the Wild Bear and Boar Bar around 5:30. Perfect timing cause we found a table and where able to get served right away. After a hearty dinner, and a few drinks, we where in the right mood to see my man PHIL COLLINS at Nationwide arena.

My friends Jason, his wife Karen, Moises, Scotti and Todd all joined me in this endeavor to see the guy who’s music has had such an influential part of my life. This couple with the fact that I went with a specially made T-shirt that had “Southpark Sucks” on the front (Phil beating Cartman over the head) and “Thank You Phil!” on the back. Note: The T-shirt was suppose to be the other way around originally, picture provided

Our seats where right next to the left side of the stage. First row raised from the floor with no one in front of us. Excellent seats all together. At 8:15 the lights where dimmed and the intro music began. Then Phil came out and the audience went nuts. What was next was a ten minute drum solo, duet and then trio-et, that covered his career from Genesis to modern day. Chester Thompson helped him on drums as well as his percussionist. It was awesome. Then out of nowhere POW, came Something Happened on the Way to Heaven, complete with full band, six backup singers, and a giant light bright display board behind them all that looked like something out of a iTunes graphical visualization. It was like a giant Light bright screen that moved!

Phil moved into Against All Odds and then Don’t Lose My Numbers. Phil’s voice was solid and strong and I could hear him much better than the Cleveland concert. After which he said hello, told us all not to ‘peak’ too early, and that we would be covering music from the last twenty years!

Next came You’ll Be In My Heart, followed by One More Night. And then the most incredible and fantastic thing that ever happened to me happened! Phil came over to our side of the stage and it looked like he was trying to read Todd and mine’s shirt. I stood up, and turned around and pointed to the “THANK YOU PHIL” part of my shirt. I sat back down, and in between singing he looked at me and mouthed silently “Thank You” back!

YES Phil Collins said Thank You Back to me! I couldn’t believe it! Not only did the greatest Rock and Roll person alive stop singing and acknowledge my shirt but he also responded back to me. It was the best moment in my life!

Next came True Colors which had a giant rainbow on the screen, followed by the song he sang for his kid who was there that evening which is the song no ones knows and goes to the bathroom to. Phil then did Groovy Kind of Love, which like One More Night featured a night star display behind him.

Bang the band jumped into I missed again. At this point Karen and I where up and dancing, and remained dancing through Misunderstanding (A genesis tunes and a real treat since he usually doesn’t play Genesis stuff.) followed by Separate Lives where Amy Keys brought the house down with her amazing voice! At someone point Phil came over again, and I stood up again, and this time he gave me a thumbs up! He acknowledged me TWICE! I couldn’t believe it!

The lights dimmed and the atmosphere became something out of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Lights, flashes, and then the familiar drum beat for In the Air Tonight. This time Phil walked around the stage, and he was just about to go to his drum kit, but stopped short and continued up to the top of the stage. There a third drum kit emerged and he rocked the house with his familiar “da da da da dada da bum bum”.

The crowd crazy broke into Dance into the Light, and we all danced and started moving in our small confined placed. My friends just looked and me and smiled, as Karen and I moved the four piece horn section. An older lady in front of me even gave my high five numerous times as we all got down with Phil. You Can’t Hurry Love, Two Hearts, Wear My Hat, Easy Love, and Sussudio not only made us dance till we sweated, but probably lost ten pounds as well! It was a religious experience as the music just swept through your body and I wasn’t even drinking!

Phil closed with a soft new song It’s Not too Late, thanked everyone for supporting him over the years and then did an amazing rendition of Take Me Home, for which everyone got involved in! He closed the show with a giant ball spinning on the light board with the world “Columbus” and then the board had curtains that closed shut and the most amazing concert I was ever at, was then over!

Needless to say I kept asking my friends “Did he really see me? Did he really say Thank You back?”. To which they rolled their eyes smiling

“Yes he did!”

It was a night to remember!